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Consideration

Also known as reciprocity or The Golden Rule. Show consideration by treating the other person the way they want to be treated. Work to see things from their point of view. 

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If you're hosting a party, you may love it if a guest approaches you and starts a lively conversation. But a shy guest may feel a part of the celebration if you simply offer them refreshments.

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What moves you to take another person's point of view into account? Do they have to deserve it in some way? How much are you typically willing to work see from another's point of view? If someone is constantly inconsiderate to you, what are your current feelings about being considerate in return? What could be the benefits and risks of deciding to be considerate in all cases, regardless of the circumstances?

Perspectives

University of the Streets, by Anna M. Alkin, farmer

"Our aim was to get the students hooked on the joy of giving, but I found myself increasingly uncomfortable with the ways in which service built a subtle sense of spiritual superiority in the giver, myself included.

An intention was slowly forming deep within me: What about those we serve?"

Opening Thy Palm, by Rabindranath Tagore, poet and philosopher

"The chariot stopped where I stood.  Thy glance fell on me and thou camest down with a smile.  I felt that the luck of my life had come at last.  Then of a sudden thou didst hold out thy right hand and say 'What hast thou to give to me?'"

What Do We Get Wrong About the Golden Rule? by Dinsa Sachan, journalist

"While texting with a friend recently, I casually mentioned her ex. She got riled up. I try not to take offense when friends talk about my former lovers, so I was shocked my friend asked me to 'mind my own business.'"

Action

Put yourself in their shoes 

 

Who is someone in your world you have a difficult relationship with, or someone you'd like to have a better relationship with?

 

Focus on any characteristic of that person that's very different from you. For example, maybe you're a risk-taker and they dislike any kind of risk.

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See yourself through their eyes. How do you think they would describe the part of you that's different from them? Following the example above, if you're a risk-taker, you may see yourself as flexible, adventurous, able to take advantage of opportunities that come your way. However, maybe they see you as foolish, unrealistic, or unstable.

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Do something today to show that person you understand and respect their point of view about that part of you. You don't have to agree with it.

 

For instance, if you're bringing a brand new dish to their potluck, and you know they don't like to try new, unfamiliar foods, also bring a dish you know they're familiar with.

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Another suggestion: see the positive side of that part of them, and compliment them on it, in person, by text or email. For example: "You always made me put stuff in the exact same place in the fridge. I think my roommates really appreciate that about me."

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